no devil lived on

I Have Returned

It seems as though this has not been my most verbally prolific time in twenty two years. Believe me when I say that I am, on occasion, quite verbose and (this cannot be overemphasized) extremely opinionated. In fact, if there were an industry for expressing one's opinion on random subjects, I could most likely overrun the market overnight. Unfortunately for all of us, though this market does exist, the paying jobs are few, far between and offer little in the way of job security. Sadly, in order to earn a living, we must do things that are deemed by society to be productive. Sadder still, those who decide what is productive and what is not seem to quite fickle and opinionated in their own right.

Today, let us take a look at the newspaper editorial. Here we have everything that exists in any weblog across the globe: pseudo-intellectual rantings and ravings of overeducated, underqualified newspaper bureaucrats on a variety of topics of which relatively few are vital to the everyday existence of your average ape descendent. Nearly 80% of their columns are the same and can be summed up thusly, "There was this thing in the news that I have nothing to do with, but since I'm stuck on myself enough to have this job, and I've decided that it was important, I thought I'd contribute my two cents to the cost of this newspaper. Also, since you're all a bunch of idiots, I've decided to make up your mind for you. Now you may set out upon the world this fine afternoon and parrot everything that I have presented before you. You're welcome."

I am consistently reminded that it is valuable to be, as they say, "In the know." Now what this means is that you have a morbid predisposition of sticking your nose in affairs that have no initial bearing on your life. And if it did, one would hope that you had known about it long before someone has had a chance to phone it in, research it, qualify the information, type it up, pass it through their editor, who then sends the information to print, passes once again through another editor, OKs the information to print, printed, bound, loaded, unloaded, placed on the front counter, sold for half a dollar, read, processed by your brain, mulled about while drinking an overpriced cup of corporate coffee, continued to be mulled about while on your way to work and finally chatted about thoroughly as if you were sixteen year old girls talking about Johnny Weissmuller butt in tight jeans.

How this is valued at fifty cents per copy is often beyond me. I want to know just who exactly are these "they" people and why are they so concerned that I be as nosy, intrusive and annoying as they are? Furthermore, if I'm going to be nosy, intrusive and annoying, then why can't I be paid to be their lackey? Damn them and their fiendish shenanigans!

posted by bumbletbw @ 11:25 AM